Zardari aur Shareef

Technorati Tags: humour in urdu, mazahiya urdu shairi, poetry urdu, siyasi shairi, urdu shairi

airconditioned jacket

It works by helping the body’s own cooling system. Normally, sweat is produced and evaporates, causing a cooling effect – but clothes interfere with this process by trapping the droplets.

But the jacket, invented by former Sony technician Hiroshi Ichigaya, produces a layer of circulating air which enhances sweat evaporation. Two fans at the back pump fresh air around the wearer and out through the neck and sleeve ends. Moisture can also pass through the cloth.

The fans – four inches in diameter – are powered by AA batteries, which last for several hours, or by plugging into a computer using a USB cable.

The electrical parts can be removed for washing. The only drawback is the balloon effect caused by the air flow. Do you mind that ? When there is no electricity!

Technorati Tags: airconditioned jacket, usb powered AC jacket

Zaradi cuts the cake

Mr Zardari’s smile while cutting the cake shows that he was not even discouraged by Bilawal not getting an invitation to the Royal Wedding. President of Pakistan cuts the cake to celebrate the Queen’s 85th Birthday and of the Royal Wedding between Prince William of Wales and Miss Catherine Middleton, during ceremony at UK Embassy in Islamabad on Friday, April 29, 2011.

State Minister for Foreign Affairs Hina Rabbani Khar, federal ministers, parliamentarians, diplomats, senior officers and people from various walks of life were among the guests.

Speaking at the reception arranged by British High Commission, the President expressed his best wishes for the newly married couple and prayed for happiness in their future.

British High Commissioner Adam Thomson said, “The two happy events mark the start of a tremendously exciting period for the UK and the Commonwealth. The Queen’s birthday is also an occasion to reflect on the close ties that bind UK and Pakistan. ”

This was all done (maybe) in good spirits but for a common Pakistani like me there are two options either we get  frustrated thinking that the President of a country faced  by so many challenges has nothing better to do then cutting a cake to celebrate Queen’s birthday!!or laugh at it….

“Begaani shaadi main Abdullah Deewana” We all know this famous proverb of  Urdu language which means that an  irrelevant person (Abdullah) celebrates wedding of a stranger with more excitement than the relevant people.

You can see an example of this ‘muhawara’ in the picture above.

Technorati Tags: Begaani shaadi main Abdullah Deewana, British High Commissioner Adam Thomson, hina khar, urdu proverb, zardari, zardari cuts queen's birhday cake, zardari wishes kate ans william

Is computer a man?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Technorati Tags: funny, Humour, man versus woman, man woman joke, marriage, Women

I was just going through usual stuff on YouTube and guess what I found! A Device that translates woman’s emotions! See the video below:

www.youtube.com/watch?v=GXb31UNawg0

If its real then I wish to have one too!

Technorati Tags: humor, manslator, men, Women, youtube

men women

Here is a joke for wise women and men who have sense of humor!

The Loyal Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money,and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, ‘When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the +after-life+ with me.’

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died . . .
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, ‘Wait,just a minute!’

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, ‘I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there in the casket with your husband.’

The loyal wife replied ‘Listen, I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.’

‘You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!! ?’

‘I sure did’ said the wife. ‘I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.’

Moral of the story: *Women are wiser than Men* ……

Technorati Tags: humor, Humour, husband wife joke, joke, men women jokes

sehat

Home remedies for common ailments are very interestingly summed up in an urdu poem by an unknown writer. It covers everything from cold, indigestion, fatigue, sore throat to tooth ache and  weakness.

Let me explain the title which is in urdu language. Tandrusti is health and mashwarey means suggestions so here are some valuable suggestions for staying healthy.

Jahan tak kaam chalta ho ghiza(food) sey
Wahan tak chahaye bachna dwa(medicine) sey

Agar tuj ko lagey jarey(winter) main sardi
To istimaal ker anday(egg) ki zardi

Jo ho mehsoos medey(stomach) main geerani
To pee ley soonf ya adrak ka paani

Agar khoon(blood) kam baney balgham ziayada
To kha ley gajjar, channey, shaljam ziayada

Jiggar key bal pe hai insaan jeeta
Agar za’af -e-jiggar hai kha papita (papaya)

Jiggar main ho agar garmi dahi kha
Agar aantoun(intestines) main khushki ho to ghee kha

Thakkan se houn agar uzalaat (organs) dheelay
To foran doodh grama garam pee ley

Jo taqt main kami hotio ho mesoos
To misri ki dali multan ki choos

Ziayada gar damaghi hai tera kaam
To kha ley shehad(honey) ke hamra badaam

Agar ho qalb ki garmi ka ehsaas
Murabba aamla kha aur ana-nas(pine apple)

Jo dhukhta ho gala nazley ke marey
To kar namkeen pani ke ghararey

Agar hai dard se dantoun ki be-kal
To ungali sey masooroun per namak mal

Jo bad-hazmi main chahey tu aafaqa
To do ek waqt ka ker ley tu faqa!!!!

Technorati Tags: balgham, common cold, gharelu totkey, ginger, home remedies in urdu, honey, liver, nazla, papaya, urdu nazm, urdu poem, Urdu Poetry, zukaam

Spot the spy pigeon?

This news may bring a smile on your face too that a  ”Pakistani” pigeon is held by Indian Police on suspision of spying for Pakistan. Indians better start  issuing visas to pigeons, goats, cows and crows! It requires very high level of intelligence to catch a bird spy which is seen in Indians only. The funniest part is that the bird is not allowed to have any visitors but in this hot weather it can enjoy Indian hospitability in an aircontioned room.

ISI should take this idea seriously and start recruiting pigeons. One day they may have a Pigeon Army!!!

Dawn says…NEW DELHI: Indian police are holding a pigeon under armed guard after it was caught on an alleged spying mission for arch rivals and neighbours Pakistan, media reported on Friday.

The white-coloured bird was found by a local resident in India’s Punjab state, which borders Pakistan, and taken to a police station 40 kilometres (25 miles) from the capital Amritsar.

The pigeon had a ring around its foot and a Pakistani phone number and address stamped on its body in red ink.

Police officer Ramdas Jagjit Singh Chahal told the Press Trust of India (PTI) news agency that they suspected the pigeon may have landed on Indian soil from Pakistan with a message, although no trace of a note has been found.

Officials have directed that no-one should be allowed to visit the pigeon, which police say may have been on a “special mission of spying”.

The bird has been medically examined and was being kept in an air-conditioned room under police guard.

Senior officers have asked to be kept updated on the situation three times a day, PTI said.

Chahal said local pigeon fanciers in the sensitive border area had told police that Pakistani pigeons were easily identifiable as they look different from Indian ones, according to the Indian Express newspaper.— AFP

Technorati Tags: india, Pakistan, pakistan border, pakistani pigeon, pakistani spy, pigeon army, Ramdas Jagjit Singh Chahal, spy pigeon

Can daddy bathe me

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

• Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
• Each kid will play two sports and take ither music or dance classes.
• There is no fast food.
• Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.
• In addition, each man will have to budget enough money
• for groceries each week.
• Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time–no emailing.
• Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
• He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
• He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.
• Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.
• The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
• The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished,
• and eyebrows groomed.
• During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
• They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
• They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.
• A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:

each child’s birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor’s name,
the child’s weight at birth,
length,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child’s favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

• The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
• The last man wins only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.
• If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don’t send it back to me….

I’m going to bed.

Technorati Tags: funny, humor, Humour, husband, husband wife, men and women, men vs women, wife, Women