sehat

Home remedies for common ailments are very interestingly summed up in an urdu poem by an unknown writer. It covers everything from cold, indigestion, fatigue, sore throat to tooth ache and  weakness.

Let me explain the title which is in urdu language. Tandrusti is health and mashwarey means suggestions so here are some valuable suggestions for staying healthy.

Jahan tak kaam chalta ho ghiza(food) sey
Wahan tak chahaye bachna dwa(medicine) sey

Agar tuj ko lagey jarey(winter) main sardi
To istimaal ker anday(egg) ki zardi

Jo ho mehsoos medey(stomach) main geerani
To pee ley soonf ya adrak ka paani

Agar khoon(blood) kam baney balgham ziayada
To kha ley gajjar, channey, shaljam ziayada

Jiggar key bal pe hai insaan jeeta
Agar za’af -e-jiggar hai kha papita (papaya)

Jiggar main ho agar garmi dahi kha
Agar aantoun(intestines) main khushki ho to ghee kha

Thakkan se houn agar uzalaat (organs) dheelay
To foran doodh grama garam pee ley

Jo taqt main kami hotio ho mesoos
To misri ki dali multan ki choos

Ziayada gar damaghi hai tera kaam
To kha ley shehad(honey) ke hamra badaam

Agar ho qalb ki garmi ka ehsaas
Murabba aamla kha aur ana-nas(pine apple)

Jo dhukhta ho gala nazley ke marey
To kar namkeen pani ke ghararey

Agar hai dard se dantoun ki be-kal
To ungali sey masooroun per namak mal

Jo bad-hazmi main chahey tu aafaqa
To do ek waqt ka ker ley tu faqa!!!!

Technorati Tags: balgham, common cold, gharelu totkey, ginger, home remedies in urdu, honey, liver, nazla, papaya, urdu nazm, urdu poem, Urdu Poetry, zukaam

Spot the spy pigeon?

This news may bring a smile on your face too that a  ”Pakistani” pigeon is held by Indian Police on suspision of spying for Pakistan. Indians better start  issuing visas to pigeons, goats, cows and crows! It requires very high level of intelligence to catch a bird spy which is seen in Indians only. The funniest part is that the bird is not allowed to have any visitors but in this hot weather it can enjoy Indian hospitability in an aircontioned room.

ISI should take this idea seriously and start recruiting pigeons. One day they may have a Pigeon Army!!!

Dawn says…NEW DELHI: Indian police are holding a pigeon under armed guard after it was caught on an alleged spying mission for arch rivals and neighbours Pakistan, media reported on Friday.

The white-coloured bird was found by a local resident in India’s Punjab state, which borders Pakistan, and taken to a police station 40 kilometres (25 miles) from the capital Amritsar.

The pigeon had a ring around its foot and a Pakistani phone number and address stamped on its body in red ink.

Police officer Ramdas Jagjit Singh Chahal told the Press Trust of India (PTI) news agency that they suspected the pigeon may have landed on Indian soil from Pakistan with a message, although no trace of a note has been found.

Officials have directed that no-one should be allowed to visit the pigeon, which police say may have been on a “special mission of spying”.

The bird has been medically examined and was being kept in an air-conditioned room under police guard.

Senior officers have asked to be kept updated on the situation three times a day, PTI said.

Chahal said local pigeon fanciers in the sensitive border area had told police that Pakistani pigeons were easily identifiable as they look different from Indian ones, according to the Indian Express newspaper.— AFP

Technorati Tags: india, Pakistan, pakistan border, pakistani pigeon, pakistani spy, pigeon army, Ramdas Jagjit Singh Chahal, spy pigeon

Can daddy bathe me

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

• Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
• Each kid will play two sports and take ither music or dance classes.
• There is no fast food.
• Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.
• In addition, each man will have to budget enough money
• for groceries each week.
• Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time–no emailing.
• Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
• He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
• He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.
• Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.
• The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
• The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished,
• and eyebrows groomed.
• During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
• They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
• They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.
• A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:

each child’s birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor’s name,
the child’s weight at birth,
length,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child’s favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

• The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
• The last man wins only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.
• If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don’t send it back to me….

I’m going to bed.

Technorati Tags: funny, humor, Humour, husband, husband wife, men and women, men vs women, wife, Women

ninja

If someone is following a lady to attack or harrass her then she can convert her skirt into a vending machine!! A Japanese designer has unveiled a garment that doubles as a disguise, unfolding to look like the front of a vending machine. It may look decidedly silly, but Aya Tsukioka’s idea has a serious aim to help ease women’s fear of crime and discourage would-be attackers. Read more.

You think its funny?

ninja dress

No, it proves a point that one has to cover herself for protection but if a “muslim” lady does the same then a thousand questions spring up in secular minds of the world who claim to be advocates of freedom of speech and expression. Unfortunately this very freedom is not given to the muslims!

A western woman is allowed to  show her body on the streets, in media and all around us. We, the muslims are offended and disturbed by such show of flesh. We do not go around protesting against them or forcing them to cover. Then who is letting others co-exsist in peace… the advocates of liberty and freedom or  the muslims?

burqa

Make a choice you want to be a vending machine or wear a burqa?

Jokes apart this is a free world….Live and let live.

Technorati Tags: burqa, Islam, ninja dress, niqab, parda

Ibn Sina

Welcome Aboard!

Ibn Sina, the Arabic speaking humanoid robot, recently thrilled other passengers as Emirates Airlines flight EK817 was transporting one of the world’s most advanced robots from Dubai, United Arab Emirates to Riyadh in Saudi Arabia, Emirates News Agency reported.

A first for the airline, Ibn Sina, named after an 11th century philosopher, travelled as a first class passenger on the flight.

Able to verbally interact with people, Ibn Sina stunned fellow passengers as he was checked in at Emirates’ dedicated first class check-in counter and relaxed in the airline’s first class lounge prior to boarding his flight.

The robot can recognize faces, understand and converse with people speaking in Arabic – complete with gestures, connect to the internet and retrieve information.

It is one of the world’s most advanced humanoid robots.

It was accompanied by Dr Nikolaos Mavridis, Assistant Professor of Computer Science at the United Arab Emirates University College of Information Technology in Al Ain where the machine was developed, along with two of his assistants.

It had to be cleared for travel by the Dubai Police Authorities, the Dubai International Airport, and the Emirates’ safety team. Ibn Sina was travelling to Riyadh to become the key exhibit at a conference and exhibition on higher education.

‘The planning and integration of numerous Emirates departments is testament to our commitment to give every passenger, human or not, the best level of care and service possible,’ Mohammed Mattar, divisional senior vice president of airport operations, was quoted in local media as saying. ’Ibn Sina embodies the forward thinking and innovative ethos of Emirates and we were honoured to have him fly with us.

‘This was certainly an interesting challenge for the team however through careful planning Ibn Sina was successfully transported to his destination and we look forward to many more trips of the same nature.’

Ibn Sina2

Courtesy-Daily Mail

Technorati Tags: Al ain, emirates airlines, Emirates news Agency, humanoid robot, Ibn Sina, UAE University College of Information technology

moon for sale

People used to say to their loved ones in our part of the world that ” I can even bring moon and stars for you” (Main tumharey liye asmaan se chaand tarey tor ke la sakta houn)

BUT todays love is more practical, a female fan gifts “a piece of land on moon” to Shahrukh Khan on his birthday every year!!! Poora chaand na sahi a few acres of land on moon!

SRK owns land on moon!

Believe it or not, but a crazy Australian fan gifts Shah Rukh Khan a piece of the moon every year on his birthday.

SRK confirms to a daily, “Yes, an Australian lady buys a little land on the moon for me every year on my birthday. She has been buying it for a while now and I get these certificates from the Lunar Republic Society.”

SRK adds that he has met his fan and she keeps in touch with him all year through mails, “She writes me colourful emails (in the sense one line is red, one is blue and so on). I feel blessed to have the love of so many people worldwide.”

According to one online lunar real estate agency, http://www.lunarregistry.com/, the Sea of Tranquility is the most sought-after address on the moon. 1 acre (approximately 43,560 sq ft, or 4,047 sq mtrs) costs US $37.50 (Rs 1758.75) and the actor owns several acres there. An ownership package includes a beautifully engraved parchment deed, a satellite photograph of the property and an information sheet detailing the geography of your region. An interactive Full Moon Atlas on CD-ROM is available at an additional cost.

You are allowed to purchase up to 40 acres per transaction. The proceeds from the purchase of the plot on the moon, go toward the Lunar Republic Society’s programme for privatised human-based exploration, settlement and development of the Moon.

Now while there are many websites on the internet (based in the US, UK and Russia) that allows you to buy land on the moon, it doesn’t mean you can charge NASA or other space agencies for trespassing when they land on your property.

Property ownership is permanently registered by the International Lunar Lands Registry in its annual publication, which is copyrighted and deposited in the United States Library of Congress and with international patent and trademark offices, including the United Kingdom (UK Patent Office), Japan (Japan Copyright Office), Russia (Rospatent) and with the United Nations (UN Depository Library), in compliance with the Berne Convention.

Technorati Tags: chaand, land on moon, lunar republic society, moon, moon for sale, property on moon, shahrukh khan

faraz hi faraz

faraz hi faraz2

Faraz hi Faraz3

faraz hi faraz4

faraz hi faraz5

faraz hi faraz6

faraz hi faraz7

faraz hi faraz8

faraz hi faraz9

faraz hi faraz10

faraz hi faraz11

faraz hi faraz12

Technorati Tags: Ahmed faraz, faraz hi faraz, Humour, mazahiya urdu shairi

smile

Here are some Ramadan SMS. I hope you enjoy them too…

“Aap ki aur aap ki family ki kal hamarey ghariftaari hai

Ammi to mana ker rahi thi key atta, chawal, ghosht mehnga hai

Magar

Maine kaha aney wala apna rizq ley ker ata hai

to apna khana saath lana!

Waisey hum log biryani shouq se khatey hain,

Kabab koftey bhi chal jayein gey,

cold drinks aur fruit bhi ketey aao to maza aa jaye ga

ANNA ZAROOR!”

Another one…

“Woh sehri ka maza

woh iftaari ki bhook

Woh Quran ki tilawat

Woh namaz ka mamool

Woh rozey ki barkat

Woh rozey ka noor

“Mahe Ramzaam Purnoor!”

Technorati Tags: funny sms, ramadan sms

A young and pretty lady posted this on a popular forum:

Title: What should I do to marry a rich guy?

I’m going to be honest about what I’m going to say here. I’m 25 this year. I’m very pretty, have style and good taste. I wish to marry a guy with $500k annual salary or above. You might say that I’m greedy, but an annual salary of $1M is considered only as middle class in some areas of New York. My requirement is not high. Is there anyone in this forum who has an income of $500k annual salary? Are you all married? I want to ask: what should I do to marry rich persons like you? Among those I’ve dated, the richest has a $250k annual income, and it seems that this is the upper limit of where I can reach. If someone is going to move into high cost residential area on the west of New York CityGarden(?) a $250k annual income is not enough.

I’m here humbly to ask a few questions:
1) Where do most rich bachelors hang out? (Please list down the names and addresses of bars, restaurant, gym)
2) Which age group should I target?
3) Why most wives of the rich men are only average-looking? I’ve met a few girls who don’t have looks and are not interesting, but they are able to marry rich guys – what have they got?
4) How do you decide who can be your wife, and who can only be your girlfriend? (my target now is to get married)!

Ms. Pretty

Awesome reply:
Dear Ms. Pretty,

I have read your post with great interest. Guess there are lots of girls out there who have similar questions like yours. Please allow me to analyse your situation as a professional investor.

My annual income is more than $500k, which meets your requirement, so I hope everyone believes that I’m not wasting time here. From the standpoint of a business person, it is a bad decision to marry you. The answer is very simple, so let me explain. Put the details aside, what you’re trying to do is an exchange of “beauty” and “money”:

Person A (you) provide beauty, and Person B (me or someone like me) pays for it, fair and square.

However, there’s a deadly problem here, your beauty will fade, but my money will not be gone without any good reason. The fact is, my income might increase from year to year, but you can’t become prettier year after year. Hence from the viewpoint of economics, I am an appreciation asset, and you are a depreciation asset. It’s not just normal depreciation, but exponential depreciation. If being very pretty is your only asset then your value will be much lowered 10 years later.

By the terms we use in Wall Street, every trading has a position, dating with you is also a “trading position”. If the trade value dropped we will sell it and it is not a good idea to keep it for long term – same goes with the marriage that you wanted. It might be cruel to say this, but in order to make a wiser decision any assets with great depreciation value will be sold or “leased”.

Anyone with over $500k annual income is not a fool; we would only date you, but will not marry you. I would advice that you forget looking for any clues to marry a rich guy.

And by the way, you could make yourself to become a rich person with $500k annual income. This has better chance than finding a rich fool.

As far as those average looking wives of rich guys are concerned… they have Dads who help the rich guy make the $500K and more per year!!

Hope this reply helps you in your business deals.

signed,

CEO
J.P. Morgan

Technorati Tags: funny, humor, joke

Siyasatdan ki dua

Technorati Tags: funny urdu poetry, mazahiya shairi, urdu shairi