Is computer a man?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Technorati Tags: funny, Humour, man versus woman, man woman joke, marriage, Women

men women

Here is a joke for wise women and men who have sense of humor!

The Loyal Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money,and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, ‘When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the +after-life+ with me.’

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died . . .
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, ‘Wait,just a minute!’

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, ‘I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there in the casket with your husband.’

The loyal wife replied ‘Listen, I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.’

‘You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!! ?’

‘I sure did’ said the wife. ‘I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.’

Moral of the story: *Women are wiser than Men* ……

Technorati Tags: humor, Humour, husband wife joke, joke, men women jokes

smile

Eleven people were hanging on a rope,
Under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them
all, so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren’t able to choose that person,
until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because,
as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her
husband and kids or for men in general , and was
used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech,
all the men started clapping …….:)

Technorati Tags: Humour, imtelligent woman, joke, men women joke, smart woman

The wife said, “You should do it, because you get up first, and then we don’t have to wait as long to get our coffee.”

The husband said, ” You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee.”

Wife replies, “No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee.”

Husband replies, “I can’t believe that, show me.”

So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says………”HEBREWS”

God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.

TO SMART WOMEN WHO NEED A LAUGH AND TO MEN YOU THINK CAN HANDLE IT

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife

“The wife responded, “Allow me to explain.

God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;

God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife

The wife replied, “The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men…

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, “What?”

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife

As she fumbled for her wallet I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

“So, do you always carry your TV remote?” I asked.

“No,” she replied, ” but my husband refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally.”

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife

not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and

neither of them wanted to concede their position.

As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

the husband asked sarcastically, “Relatives of yours?”

“Yep,” the wife replied, “in-laws”

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife

2. EATING OUT:
When the bill arrives, Mark, Chris, Eric and Tom will each throw in
a $20, even though it’s only for $32.50. None of them will have
anything smaller and none will actually admit they want the change back.
When the women get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

3. MONEY:
A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on
sale.

4. BATHROOMS:
A man has five items in his bathroom: a toothbrush, shaving cream,
razor, a bar of soap, and a towel from the Marriott.
The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is
337. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

5. ARGUMENTS:
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

6. CATS:
Women love cats.
Men say they love cats, but when women aren’t looking, men kick cats.

7. FUTURE:
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

8. SUCCESS:
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

9. MARRIAGE:
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change and she does.

10. DRESSING UP:
A woman will dress up to go 4 shopping, to water the plants, empty the
garbage, answer the phone, read a book, and read the mail.
A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

11. NATURAL:
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

12. OFFSPRING:
Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about
dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods,
secret fears and hopes and dreams.
A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

13. FINAL THOUGHT:
Any married man should forget his mistakes.
There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving

each other the silent treatment. Suddenly, the man realized that the

next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early

morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote

on a piece of paper,

“Please wake me at 5:00 AM ” He left it where he knew she would find

it. The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM

and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why

his wife hadn’t wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the

bed. The paper said, “It is 5:00 AM. Wake up.”

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

Technorati Tags: humor, husband, marriage, wife