Protect your child
We read such news stories everyday ….like the one below.
“Minor raped, killed by brother-in-law
By our correspondent (The news)
LAHORE : A man raped and strangled his six-year-old sister-in-law in Hudiara police limits on Friday. The victim was identified as Laiba. Her brother-in-law, Rehmat, visited his in-laws house on Friday, took her to the fields and raped her. After committing the crime, the accused strangled the girl and threw her in front of the house of one Ramzan. The victim’s family rushed Laiba to a local hospital where doctors pronounced her dead. The accused managed to escape from the crime scene.”
Why do we think that this happens to other only. I pray it doesn’t happen to us but necessary precautions should be taken. While driving we all wear a seat belt for safety. As we tell our child about the risk of touching fire and electricity in the same way they should be educated to protect and defend themselves. My heart cries for the victims of abuse and the abuser is not a human being in my sight. We know most of the times the abuser is a relative or a friend. When we try not to leave our child alone with a relative people accuse us of being obsessive and guilty of not trusting people. But I am not bothered by these accusations because we are not experimenting with “rats” here.
I would like to share this information which I think all parents should read. I got it from the site of Rozan which is an NGO working on child abuse along with other issues.
Attention parents!!
Let’s keep our eyes open.
What do we need to know about child sexual abuse?
Child Sexual Abuse is defined as any activity in which an adult or older child uses a younger child in a sexual way. This ranges from relatively milder forms such as touching/ fondling, showing one’s own or looking at the child’s private parts, too more severe forms such as rape.
• Child Sexual Abuse is extremely prevalent in Pakistan irrespective of age, sex, education, socio-economic class, intelligence, etc.
• Most abusers are known to the child and may even be trusted adults
• Most victims of child sexual abuse are afraid to disclose their abuse, and many never do, due to embarrassment, shame, guilt, the fear of upsetting family members and the fear of being disbelieved or blamed. Abusers may also use threats.
• Child sexual abuse can have long-lasting effects on personality, even if it happened at a young age, or just once, or wasn’t very severe.
Child sexual abuse is NEVER the fault of the child!
What can we do to prevent child sexual abuse?
Tell your children:
• Your body belongs to you, you have the right to say who touches you and how.
• If somebody touches you in a way you don’t like or that makes you feel uncomfortable, say “NO”.
• If the person doesn’t stop, say, “I’m going to tell” and then do so. I will support you.
• Grownups don’t touch children in their private parts in private unless it’s for health or hygiene.
• Not all adults or older children are good. If you are not sure about something they do or say, ask me to explain it.
Other Pointers
Repeat simple safety rules,
• Teach children to be assertive and say “NO’ to things that make them feel uncomfortable.
• Help children develop a dignified vocabulary for their private parts. It is important to tell them that these are special and private.
• Communicate as much as possible with your child.
• Help the child to develop self-confidence, self-esteem and respect.
• Be attentive to the child’s needs/ fears
• Know where your child is and with whom
How can we tell that our child may be a victim?
The SUDDEN occurrence of any of the following problems for no other apparent reason:
• Various infections, itching, bleeding, urinary tract infections, bruises cuts, etc in genital area
• Bed-wetting, Excessive crying, eating problems
• Sleep disturbances. Including nightmares
• Age-inappropriate sexual awareness or sexual
• Activity with toys, peers, adults
• Clinging behavior or withdrawal/isolation
• Spending too much time with certain people secretively or alone
• Phobia/fears, especially of certain people or places
• Delinquent behavior (steeling, excessive lying, running away, etc.)
• Drop in academic performance
• Under-confidence, staying quiet a lot
• Aggression
• Self-mutilation
• Problems in relationships
• Suicidal ideation or attempts
• Behaving like a much younger child
What can we do if we know our child is a victim?
• Keep the child away from being alone with the abuser
• Gently talk to the child about it without blaming, getting upset & expressing shock
• Get professional help. Contact Aangan
• Even if the abuse has stopped and happened a long time ago, it is important to address it.
You have the right to be aware & seek help!
Write to: Aangan, Rozan
House 258, Street 17, F-10/2, Islamabad
Tel: (+92 51) 221 5368 and (+92 51) 716 5365
From 9:00am – 5:00pm every day except Saturday and Sunday.
E-mail: aangan@mail.comsats.net.pk or aangan@rozan.org
Our children are the most precious asset, the most innocent living being on the earth’s surface. They are dependent on the parents for all their needs. Although their dependence decreases as they grow up but parents cannot complete their responsibility just by feeding and clothing them. Even when we think they are capable of carrying on their daily lives they still need their parents at every step. In short in this adult world a child is at risk because he/she is vulnerable . What I mean is that we cannot isolate a child but we have to protect him/her from all sort of abuse. Its very unfortunate that people do not spare even little children…..
well m not tht too much elder but it is very good and u r preparing parents to get there rights and usually parents are aware of all tht so keep on doin this good wrk i appreciate it
JAZAKALLAH