Is computer a man?

A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.

‘House’ for instance, is feminine: ‘la casa.’
‘Pencil,’ however, is masculine: ‘el lapiz.’

A student asked, ‘What gender is ‘computer’?’

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer’ should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.

The men’s group decided that ‘computer’ should definitely be of the feminine gender (‘la computadora’), because:

1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and

4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.

(THIS GETS BETTER!)

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (‘el computador’), because:

1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won.

Technorati Tags: funny, Humour, man versus woman, man woman joke, marriage, Women

men women

Here is a joke for wise women and men who have sense of humor!

The Loyal Wife

There was a man who had worked all of his life, had saved all of his money,and was a real miser when it came to his money.

Just before he died, he said to his wife, ‘When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me. I want to take my money to the +after-life+ with me.’

And so he got his wife to promise him with all of her heart that when he died, she would put all of the money in the casket with him.

Well, he died . . .
He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said, ‘Wait,just a minute!’

She had a box with her, she came over with the box and put it in the casket.

Then the undertakers locked the casket down, and they rolled it away.

Her friend said, ‘I know you weren’t fool enough to put all that money in there in the casket with your husband.’

The loyal wife replied ‘Listen, I can’t go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him.’

‘You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!!! ?’

‘I sure did’ said the wife. ‘I got it all together, put it into my account and wrote him a cheque. If he can cash it, he can spend it.’

Moral of the story: *Women are wiser than Men* ……

Technorati Tags: humor, Humour, husband wife joke, joke, men women jokes

Can daddy bathe me

THE NEXT SURVIVOR SERIES

• Six married men will be dropped on an island with one car and 3 kids each for six weeks.
• Each kid will play two sports and take ither music or dance classes.
• There is no fast food.
• Each man must take care of his 3 kids; keep his assigned house clean, correct all homework, complete science projects, cook, do laundry, and pay a list of ‘pretend’ bills with not enough money.
• In addition, each man will have to budget enough money
• for groceries each week.
• Each man must remember the birthdays of all their friends and relatives, and send cards out on time–no emailing.
• Each man must also take each child to a doctor’s appointment, a dentist appointment and a haircut appointment.
• He must make one unscheduled and inconvenient visit per child to the Emergency Room.
• He must also make cookies or cupcakes for a school function.
• Each man will be responsible for decorating his own assigned house, planting flowers outside, and keeping it presentable at all times.
• The men will only have access to television when the kids are asleep and all chores are done.
• The men must shave their legs, wear makeup daily, adorn themselves with jewelry, wear uncomfortable yet stylish shoes, keep fingernails polished,
• and eyebrows groomed.
• During one of the six weeks, the men will have to endure severe abdominal cramps, backaches, headaches, have extreme, unexplained mood swings but never once complain or slow down from other duties.
• They must attend weekly school meetings and church, and find time at least once to spend the afternoon at the park or a similar setting.
• They will need to read a book to the kids each night and in the morning, feed them, dress them, brush their teeth and comb their hair by 7:30 am.
• A test will be given at the end of the six weeks, and each father will be required to know all of the following information:

each child’s birthday,
height,
weight,
shoe size,
clothes size,
doctor’s name,
the child’s weight at birth,
length,
time of birth,
and length of labor,
each child’s favorite color,
middle name,
favorite snack,
favorite song,
favorite drink,
favorite toy,
biggest fear,
and what they want to be when they grow up.

• The kids vote them off the island based on performance.
• The last man wins only if…he still has enough energy to be intimate with his spouse at a moment’s notice.
• If the last man does win, he can play the game over and over and over again for the next 18-25 years, eventually earning the right to be called Mother!

After you get done laughing, send this to as many females as you think will get a kick out of it and as many men as you think can handle it.

Just don’t send it back to me….

I’m going to bed.

Technorati Tags: funny, humor, Humour, husband, husband wife, men and women, men vs women, wife, Women

faraz hi faraz

faraz hi faraz2

Faraz hi Faraz3

faraz hi faraz4

faraz hi faraz5

faraz hi faraz6

faraz hi faraz7

faraz hi faraz8

faraz hi faraz9

faraz hi faraz10

faraz hi faraz11

faraz hi faraz12

Technorati Tags: Ahmed faraz, faraz hi faraz, Humour, mazahiya urdu shairi

jokes

Here are some jokes by the Indians and I find it strange that even their sense of humour reflects hatred which is a negative trait of ones personality. Hatred, unfortunately harms the person who hates more than the target! Its such a pity that man on this earth wastes so much of his energy in these non productive and negative activities.

By the way, the last joke is really funny

Enough Is Enough
There were three men going on a coach journey. 1 was white, 1 was black and the other was a Paki durin’ da journey the black was eatin’ some food from his country. Half way through eatin’, he chucked it out da window.
The white man looked at him and asked “Why you chuckin it out?”
The black man replied “I’ve got plenty in my country.”
The Paki man was then eatin’ a chapati from his country. Halfway through eatin’ he chucked it out of da window.
The white man asked ” Why u chuckin’ that away?”
The Paki man replied “I’ve got plenty in my country”
The white man chucked the Paki man out of the window.
The black man asked “Why you chuckin’ him out?”
The white man replied “I’ve got plenty in my country!!”

Paki In Mumbai
A Paki, while visiting Mumbai, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the New Andheri Flyover, the Paki who has never seen such big buildings asks the cab driver “What’s this thing?” “That’s the New Flyover, the biggest in Mumbai” replied the cabbie. “Flyover? How long did it take to build that?” asked the Paki. “About 5 years” replied the cabbie.
“5 years? We build them twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Karachi, and we do that in six months.”
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Nehru Planetarium. “What’s that building over there?” asks the Paki. “That’s the Planetarium ” replied the cabbie. “Plantarum huh ? How long’d it take to build that?” asked the Paki. “About three years” replied the cabbie. “Three years? We build them twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Karachi, and it only takes us about two weeks.”
Shortly thereafter the cabbie drives past the Air India building . “What’s that building there?” asks the Paki, pointing at the tower. “I don’t know” replied the cabbie, “It wasn’t here when I drove by yesterday.

Paki Earthquake
The news reported today that there has been a powerful earthquake in Pakistan last night, measuring 9.2 on the Richter scale. A reported 335,000 Pakastanis are confirmed dead and another 239,000 are missing.
The world is horrified by the event, and are rushing to aid Pakistan.
The United States is sending 10 billion dollars immediately with more expected to follow
The United Kingdom is sending food, clothing, and supplies to aid the suffering citizens.
Canada is sending 500,000 replacement Pakastanis.

Pervez Musharraf And Vajpayee
Pervez Musharraf comes to Delhi for a meeting with Vajpayee. After dinner, Vajpayee says to Musharraf: “Well, I don’t know what you think of the members of your Cabinet, but mine are all bright and brilliant.”
“How do you know?” asks Musharraf.
“Oh well, it’s simple”, says Atal. ” They all have to take special tests before they can be a minister. Wait a second”. He calls Advani over and says to him “Tell me Advaniji, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
“Ah, that’s simple”, says Advani, “it is me!”
“Well done Advani”, says Vajpayee and Musharraf is very impressed.
He returns to Islamabad and wonders about the intelligence of the members of his Cabinet. He calls in his favourite member of Cabinet and asks: “Tell me, who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
He thinks and thinks and doesn’t know the answer. “Can I think about it a bit further? May I let you know tomorrow?”
“Of course”, says Musharraf, “you’ve got 24 hours.”
He goes away, thinks as hard as he can, calls in his Cabinet Secretary, Chief Secretaries and Joint Secretaries, but no-one knows the answer. Twenty hours later, the member of Musharraf’s Cabinet is very worried still no answer and only 4 hours to go. Eventually he says: “I’ll ask Benazir, she’s clever, she’ll know the answer.”
He calls Benazir. “Benazir “, he says, “tell me who is the child of your father and of your mother who is not your brother and is not your sister?”
“Very simple”, says Benazir, “it’s me!”
“Of course” says the Cabinet member and rings Musharraf. “Sir”, says he, “I’ve got the answer: It’s Benazir Bhutto”.
“No, you idiot”, says Musharraf, “it’s Advani”.Indd

Technorati Tags: funny, Humour, jokes by indians, paki jokes

On a lighter note people with generators and these electricity towers are having fun!!!

loadshedding

Technorati Tags: funny loadshedding, funny towers, Humour, loadshedding, Pakistan, towers

typing mistakes

TORONTO:(Reuters) Typing mistakes in a job application can kill a would-be employee’s chance of landing a job as employers bet that a sloppy resume means the applicant will do a sloppy job.

A telephone survey of 100 senior Canadian executives showed that more than a fifth of executives said a single typo on a resume or cover letter could cost a potential employee a job, while 28 percent said two mistakes would kill their chances. The  survey, published on Tuesday, was carried out by online job search firm Accountemps.

“The resume is an applicant’s first chance to impress the hiring manager,” said Kathryn Bolt, president of Accountemps’ Canadian operations. “Mistakes on one’s application materials may prompt employers to assume there also will be mistakes made on the job.”

But 19 percent of the executives said they would still consider an applicant with four or more typos on their resume.

Common mistakes include:

“Dear Sir or Madman”,

“I’m attacking my resume for you to review”,

“Following is a grief overview of my skills” and

“Have a keen eye for derail.

Some other typing  mistakes can be serious too…

A husband while on a business trip to a hill station sent a telegram to his wife. “I wish you were here”. The message recieved by the wife was “I wish you were her”

typing

Technorati Tags: Humour, husband wifejokes, mistakes in job apcplications, typing mistakes

smile

Eleven people were hanging on a rope,
Under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman.
The rope was not strong enough to carry them
all, so they decided that one had to leave,
because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren’t able to choose that person,
until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said that she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because,
as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her
husband and kids or for men in general , and was
used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech,
all the men started clapping …….:)

Technorati Tags: Humour, imtelligent woman, joke, men women joke, smart woman

yun to pehley bhi thi, common kabhi asey to na thi
aur mulk poorey main corruption kabhi asei to na thi
aur alam e bala main ab soch rahey hain quaid
ke jaisi ab hai meri nation kabhi aesi to na thi

raha kuch b nahin baqi watan main magar ek khasta khali reh gaye hai
tarasti hain nigahein roshni ko, faqt ek roshan khayali reh gaye hai

taraqi is qadr barpa hui hai
kissi soorat koi ghaata nahin hai
faqt ek zara se paeshani hai
election hai sar pe aur atta nahin hai

mareez kitney tarapty hain embulacon main
ke un ka haal hai ke marney waley hain
magar police ne tarafic ko rok rakha hai
ke yahan se qoum ke khadim guzerney waley hain

Heard these on GEO tv’s mazakhiya mushayera….my apologies to the poets as i remember only anwer masood sahib’s names.

Technorati Tags: election, Humour, Pakistan, urdu