face 2 face with terrorism

Terrorism takes away lives, unfortunately counted in numbers ” 100 dead, 200 injured“. We all stop for a second to see the flashing “news alert” on tv and then move one with our lives.

No one cares that these were 100 living people who are no more alive and who bothers about their loved ones. Loved ones who are living but their life is taken away! Loved ones who are so suddenly snatched away from them! They are emotionally shaken and worries of an insecure future (for women) do not let them mourn in a poor country.

200 injured gives a little relief and we thank Allah that these precious lives are saved but in what condition are they? Without a limb? half blown up? injuried all over? which may take months and thousands of rupees to heal. Who will support their families in the mean time? Who will pay for their medical expenses?

People who come face to face with terrorism, either they have lost someone or are physically injured go through mental turmoil. I just read the feelings of a husband who lost his wife in suicide bombing in the United Nations World Food Program country office in Islamabad. I am speechless….

He writes….

Reality (by Tahir Wadood Malik)

the call called me out
and i ran.
a scene of chaos
before me i saw
no one familiar
no one known
pell-mell running feet
stopping all from going in.

a hand held my arm
i looked at a face
worn and sad
she is taken from here
to the medical centre
or the hospital
hurry sir
he said.

i turned and ran
the medical centre was near,
first there i thought
and walked briskly
a voice called out
i turned
the medical centre sir
she is taken there.

a hop and i was there
running to the steps up
when another voice called
sir here
turning i saw him pointing
he came close and said
be strong sir
and turned his face.

down the slope i went,
entering a small room,
packed full with people
smelling of antiseptic,
gurneys covered in white sheets
a doctor looked at me
i took your name.

she looked at me
sad and sorry
pointing to the nearest
white sheet, she walked to it.
i stood as if riveted to the floor
is she gone i asked
she nodded,
and held the corner of the sheet.

leaden feet one after the other
just three steps
to see your face
drained of life’s color
the smile gone
nothing to give me hope.
just an endless dark tunnel,
with no light at the end.

you had left the world
you had left me, who you said
was your world,
i was left
without a thought
without any idea of next.
looking at your white face
closed eyes, look at me i said.

did you smile?
did you know i was standing there?
did you feel the tear
that fell on your cheek?
did you feel my hand on your face?
could you feel my willing you to wake?
or was it all cold, all dark,
and finished for you?

i stood there,
suddenly tired and racked with sobs
no one to hold me
no one to console me
no one to say hush
all alone.
not even you to say i am here.
together we will overcome.

and then the haze
people coming and going
a leg lay on the table next to you
supposedly of the bomber
people came and looked at it
no one bothered about us
but that leg was it for all then.
and i was frozen in pain, anger and angst.

ormalities
ambulance ride
people gathering
crying.
wailing
intruding in my feelings
despair, grief, anger,
and a loss infinite.

rituals,
more people,
waiting for the inevitable
arrivals
more and more
but where in all this are you?
lying cold and unconcerned in a bed
draped in a white coffin

i looked at you
wanting you to smile
wanting you to open your eyes
desperation
wishing for the noise of the wails
beating chests and prayers
to wake you
from the depth of death.

but your face
serene, calm
without worries at last
fresh like the morning dew
not even lines of any hue
eyes closed,
even the white cloth,
pale against your skin.

and they came also
who had not come before
all standing
some silent
some crying
all sad
all lost
no words no actions enough.

and then it was time
picking you up
one on each of the four posts
reciting the oneness of god
who had taken you from me
so cruelly,
still being exalted and called to succor,
knowing i had but to suffer.

and then the prayers,
and a ride to the last resting place
a pit dark and dreary
i shuddered
you would hold my arm
even to step a step up
and this was so much down!
how could i hold you now?

and it was all over
dust to dust
prayers
consoling words
a dirge
another prayer
dispersal
how could i leave you?

but i did leave you
alone
in a pit covered with fresh dug soil
put on there with my own hands
my prayers mixed with the rest
a feel of death, a pain, a void,
in my heart
where you lived.

and food was served
people forgot death
food, the source of life
for the living was being taken
no one bothered to say
sorry
the food was important
my loss was reality and not.

and then they left
leaving me to my self
my thoughts
my feelings
my emptiness
my fight with my god
my forlornness
and my grief

and good too that was
for there was too much
going on in me
fears
feelings
remorse
thoughts
nostalgia

and the night passed
just as you had passed from this
to another world
just as i had passed
from a happy man
to a sad being
wondering why
this had come to pass?

but then life reared its head
wanting to extract its pound of flesh
not wanting to wait for the next
but wanting me not to rest
and i shrugged
and i looked
and i picked up the shackles of life
and i went to put my shoulder to the plough.

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Siraj Bibi

I read about 119 year old Siraj Bibi( in Dawn) and thought we have our lives so complicated. She loves to work and tries to keep others happy. These two simple rules of life have kept her happy for all these years. And we strive for our own comfort and happiness. Can we get back to those simple times again. We can only dream of being 119 years old (Mashallah) and that too with an active life style. I wish and pray for Siraj Bibi’s life and health.

SIALKOT: Hard work and iron will are the secrets of the ‘successful life’ of Siraj Bibi, a 119-year-old resident of border-area Kingra village, who still loves to do her chores with her own hands.

‘The will to work instills energy in my body and I remain active even at this age,’ she told this correspondent. ‘I get up early in the morning, sweep the courtyard of my house, cut fodder for cattle and do many more things.’

All these chores, she said, had become an integral part of her life. ‘The idea of sitting idle even at this age seems like waiting for death,’ said Siraj Bibi who also serves meals to her family.

‘The secret of my happiness is that I have always tried to make others happy. After saying ‘Fajr’ prayers, I visit the only market in the village and kiss the foreheads of the shopkeepers as if they all are my sons — my dear ones.’

She has memories of the British Raj days which, according to her, were good in terms of safety. ‘Life and property of every one was safe in those days,’ she said.

Siraj Bibi was born in 1890 at the house of Laldin in the neighbouring Occupied Jammu & Kashmir’s Chimneywali village. She recalled the painful memories of her five brothers and their wives being killed by the Sikhs at the time of partition.

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Atiqa Odho

I would like to add one more beautiful and amazingly accoumplished lady of Pakistan to the list of  ”Beautiful, Ageless Women.”

Atiqa Odho:Actress/host

I remember her playing a stunning middle class wife in PTV play “Nijjaat”. She played the role impressivley. Now after so many years we  see her taking interviews of the top personalities of Pakistan. Her ability to ask the right question at he right time and that too in a lively manner made the show popular at Geo tv. The sparkle in her beautiful eyes and the glow on the pretty face hasn’t changed a bit. She is a successful enterprenuer and owns “Odho Cosmetics”.

Beautiful, Ageless Women

Ageing gracefully is one thing but the new age ‘ageing gracefully’ as far as women are concerned, is not ageing at all. Instep takes a look at five beautiful and stylish women around us who have managed to defy time. The candles on their birthday cake may sing another story, but there are no tell tale signs as far as their looks are concerned. They are an inspiration…

Zeba Bakhtiar

Zeba Bakhtiar: Actress

Who could have forgotten the rosy cheeked and youthful Zeba Bakhtiar from Randhir Kapoor’s Rishi Kapoor starrer Henna or the Syed Noor film and Adnan Sami starrer Sargam? She was vibrant and beautiful in all senses of the word. But if you have forgotten what she looked like back then, it’s not a problem because she looks exactly the same today. Zeba is just as ethereally pretty and her calm disposition reflects very well on her creaseless, ageless skin. Zeba has gone through personal ups and downs in her personal life – her marriage to Adnan Sami Khan, the long drawn out divorce and custody battle for their son Azaan that followed – but none of it shows as far as her looks are concerned. The Quetta born Baluchi beauty is certainly someone to look up to.

Reema

Reema: Actress

Reema’s come a long, long way since she stepped out in her debut film Bulandi as a fresh faced Lollywood actress to today, when she’s a director of two films, a Lux girl and a Pakistani icon in her own right. And while she’s committed some terrible, terrible fashion and style crimes along the way – most of which can be attributed to the inherently low budgets Bollywood films have – Reema now looks drop-dead gorgeous. At the Lux Style Awards last year, her flawless makeup and jewellery free look won her a definite ‘thumbs up’ from the style police (c’mon, there’s a mental style police officer in everyone’s head!). She looks the same in her current advertisement for Lux (styled by Nabila) and even in her appearances on television shows. She has finally fit into the part of a movie star and honestly, can you even guess now how old she is? It really is a remarkable 180-degree turn!

Babra

Babra Sharif: Actress

Everytime we look at images of Babra Sharif, we’re left astounded: how does this ‘80s icon look so very, very young?She is the ageless queen, whose versatility on the small and silver screen has never gone unnoticed. She knows how to carry herself, whether it is a sizzler performance at the Lux Style Awards (2005), countless style shoots that create fantastical memories or her rare but striking appearances.

Babra Sharif is no stranger to the spotlight but as her years have increased, she has gotten more stunning and that too without a hint of narcissism – a quality that never fails to impress. Unlike Lollywood divas, Babra tends to stay away and when she does return, it is always on a spectacular note. This woman can defy age like no other.

Maaheen Khan

Maheen Khan: Designer

Maheen Khan is a one-woman guide for how to dress in an age-appropriate yet alluring manner: except as the years have gone by, it’s been harder to tell just how old Maheen is! She still looks absolutely fantastic, and is always the epitome of understated elegance. In her signature black and white wardrobe and pixie haircut, Maheen Khan proves why growing older doesn’t have to equal to letting go of yourself and looking frumpy. She’s truly defying age and no one can deny it: which is why she walked away with the Best Dressed Woman nod at the recent TRC/Ensemble show. May we all age so very gracefully!

Samina Peerzada

Samina Peerzada: Actress/Director

Director, actress and a film star like no other, Samina Peerzada never fails to turn heads, whether via Rafi Peer festivals, her public voice on issues of women, her appearance and vocal support for Karafilm Festival or just her love for all things films and theatre. But that isn’t the only attractive quality about Samina. She is forthcoming and she carries a signature that suits her and is enchanting all the same. She has made films in an industry where survival is always a struggle but Samina has challenged and done the unpredictable. And for that unfaltering spirit, irrespective of the years, Samina Peerzada continues to be an age-defying icon.

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If a child lives with acceptance, he learns to find love
If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice
If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself
If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith
If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate

Technorati Tags: child, children, love

‘Since you were so kind as to greet us in London at Downing Street last month, the President would like to return the favour,” announces Major-General Rashid Qureshi, President Pervez Musharraf’s PR man over the phone. Only in Pakistan could the government’s head of spin be a retired major-general. He is referring to my last encounter with the President on 28 January – when, along with a 2,000-strong, placard-waving, slogan-jeering mob, I protested on the main road outside 10 Downing Street while Musharraf discussed democracy with Gordon Brown over lunch inside. On the way in he waved at us. Clearly he’s a man who is not afraid of confrontation. Much to the justifiable fury of every journalist in Islamabad, he has now granted me an exclusive half-hour interview despite or perhaps because of the fact that I have recently described him as one of the most repressive dictators Pakistan has ever known.

On the way to the Camp Office in Rawalpindi, I cross the bridge and pass the petrol station, which mark the spots of two recent attempts on the life of the now deeply unpopular President. I have a horrible fear that, bamboozled under the spotlight of his renowned charm, I may start to simper. My ex-husband, one of the President’s most vocal critics, has already told me he thinks this is all a terrible idea. “It will be misinterpreted in Pakistan. Besides, you’ll be too soft on him,” he said.

The Camp Office turns out to be an old colonial building which used to be the HQ of the northern command under the British. With its delicately carved, wooden, double-height ceilings, sweeping central staircase, marble floors and ornate carpets, it’s not hard to see why the President chose this as his private office in Rawalpindi. His residence is just up the driveway.

A dozen straight-backed men in uniform – red waistcoats over starched cream kurtas – are ready to greet me outside. The President, I’m informed, is not quite ready so I am led to the staff office for a “tea break” with a group of army officers who make up his presidential office team. Musharraf’s personal assistant, a dashing, grey-haired, light-eyed naval commander, and a jovial head of security, also a young army officer, joke that the delay is just an excuse for them to do a little preparatory brainwashing.
My ex-husband,
Imran
Khan told
me “It will
be misinterpreted
in Pakistan. Besides,
you’ll be too soft
on him,”
A bright yellow cake, some intimidating-looking chicken vol-au-vents and chai (milky tea) are wheeled in. Major Qureshi, Musharraf’s Alastair Campbell, tucks in happily and regales me for an hour with stories about Soviet-era Pakistani military triumphs and the magnanimity and general excellence of his boss. “Any country in the world would like to have this person as their leader,” he tells us proudly.

After an hour I am shown into a huge sitting room, divided in the middle by a latticed wood screen to segregate ladies from men at more formal functions. Musharraf enters. The last time I saw him in the flesh he was in his full army regalia. Somehow his civilian clothes have diminished him. I find his brown business suit and dainty penny loafers which have replaced the sturdy army boots almost unsettling. He seems to have lost both height and swagger. And his body language seems just a touch defensive. The immaculate hair also troubles me. Boot-polish black, artfully grey at the temples, it shows signs of some work.

I start the interview on an unfortunate note. “Given that the last time you saw me, I was protesting outside No 10, I’m grateful that you’ve granted me this opportunity. It’s quite a coup.” Bad word. There’s a moment’s silence while it hangs in the air.

The President, it turns out, is very disappointed in me. For a moment I think I have been called to his office for a sound ticking-off. “I was disappointed. Very disappointed,” he says. “I was disappointed because you ought to be knowing our environment … what Pakistanis are like … what is our society. Well, it’s acceptable if a person has never visited Pakistan and doesn’t know Pakistan to have ideal views [presumably, he means idealistic views]. But I thought you ought to be knowing what Pakistan is … This is not an ideal society.”

He goes on. Mindful that I have only limited time and that there’s a man in uniform sitting at the back of the room already checking his watch before I’ve even asked my first question, I politely interrupt. I remind him that when I first met him he too was an idealist. There is strange symmetry to this visit. I last met Musharraf three days before the last elections in 2002. And now here I am, five and a half years on, three days before elections on Monday. Back then, especially when Musharraf first came to power, I was a somewhat naive supporter. Selfishly, I was relieved when he succeeded came to power by military coup on 12 October 1999. Nawaz Sharif, the prime minister he deposed, had tried to have me jailed on trumped-up, politically motivated charges of smuggling – a non-bailable offence in Pakistan.

I suspect it was to intimidate my ex-husband, who at that time was a noisy critic. I had scarpered to London before I could be arrested and was able to return with my two children to Pakistan six months later only after Musharraf seized power and the charges against me were duly dropped. More importantly, though, Musharraf took over with the express aim of cleaning up Pakistani politics. He despised the corrupt politicians as much as anyone. He immediately set up his own national accountability bureau and declared that his mission was to hold the corrupt accountable.

I’m also disappointed, I tell him. The corrupt got off scot-free. And now it looks as though he will shortly be doing business with the very same politicians he wanted to get rid of.

Disarmingly he agrees – something he does a lot of. And I sense it’s genuine rather than appeasement. He argues that he had no other choice but to deal with the existing leaders of the main parties. This is a little disingenuous. The national reconciliation ordinance which he passed in October 2007 effectively guaranteed lifelong immunity from prosecution to corrupt politicians such as Benazir Bhutto, her husband Zardari and others, and enabled her to return to Pakistan to contest elections. He asks if he is being recorded. I say yes. He hesitates, then answers tellingly, “Yes, I agree with you [that charges should not have been dropped]. But then Benazir has good contacts abroad in your country, who thought she was the future of the country.”

I press him further. Surely even in spite of pressure from outside, given his feelings about the effects of corruption on Pakistani politics, those charges should never have been dropped. There should have been a proper judicial process.

I put this to him. “No,” he replies, “because they would have all joined and then I would have been out.” At this point he looks a bit wild eyed. He quickly adds that, of course, being in power has never been his ultimate goal. How much easier it would be, he adds wistfully and a touch unconvincingly, if he’d just resigned to play golf.

A uniformed bearer offers fruit juice and warm roasted almonds. I down my juice in one gulp, then worry it may have looked unseemly. In the past four years I’d forgotten that Pakistani women are expected to overplay their femininity. I’m lounging like a bloke and downing pomegranate juice like lager.

Often he fails to see the irony in his own words, which can be unintentionally comic. Several times I have to suppress a smile. When confronted with the suggestion, for example, that he will have to work with a coalition government consisting of some the most infamous crooks in Pakistan, he responds with great sincerity, “I’m not running a martial law here. What can I do?” He adds, “My role as a president is simply the checks and balances – the seatbelts … a sort of father figure to the Prime Minister but I won’t have to see him for weeks.”

The image he paints of himself as a benign, legitimised dictator is at odds with the recent Human Rights Watch report that accuses his regime of hundreds of enforced disappearances, arbitrary detentions, harassment, intimidation and extrajudicial killings

Later when I point out that his old opponent Nawaz Sharif, leader of the Pakistan Muslim League (PML-N), has vowed that if elected he will reinstate the judges who were unconstitutionally deposed by Musharraf, he retorts incredulously, “It is not a dictatorship here! How can you reinstate judges if you become prime minister? How?” This rhetorical question comes from a man who on 3 November dismissed 60 per cent of the superior court judges, including three chief justices, in anticipation of their ruling against his re-election as President while still head of the army. Many remain under house arrest.

He seems to be someone who feels painfully let down and misunderstood. This is particularly the case when he talks about my ex-husband, Imran. “You know, I liked him. But he is the most unrealistic person. I wanted to support him.” He mentions him a few times in the interview. And the strange thing is, I detect hurt. President Musharraf, dictator, despot, guardian of the West against al-Qa’ida – and all I can see are the wounded eyes of a betrayed lover when he talks about my ex. Under his regime, in the past year, Imran has been held under house arrest, jailed, then released and has had his movements restricted. Hell hath no fury like a general scorned.

I change the subject. Last time I visited him here in Rawalpindi he gave me a spookily accurate prediction of the imminent election results, which suggested information more than insight. Who will win this election? His answer is definitive. The PML-Q (the party otherwise known as the King’s Party, assembled by President Musharraf himself six years ago to legitimise his “managed” democracy) allied with the Muttahida Qaumi Movement will “certainly have the majority. Whether they’ll be able to form a government is a question mark.” This contradicts all the recent opinion polls, which have shown that the popularity of his favoured party is right down, at just 12 per cent. I point out this out to him.

He dismisses the polls. They are biased, conducted by local organisations that are against him. “They have been abusing me right from the beginning and you will never get good results from them.”

He seems increasingly paranoid. “The media have let me down … The NGOs are against me. I don’t know why. I think I have been the strongest proponent of human rights …” In fact, the only people who are not against him, according to him, are the Western leaders who he says are “absolutely supportive” and “express total solidarity”.

I don’t doubt Musharraf’s bravery or even his initial good intentions. Nor is anyone underestimating the scale of the problems that Pakistan faces today.
“It will be the saddest day for Pakistan if Benazir’s crooked widower is in power by Monday,”
I say. Musharraf reponds “At least we part on agreement.”
If anything, the impression is one of amateurishness and of a naivety that would be endearing if it had not been so profoundly damaging to his country. And in recent months he has become belligerent with local journalists. In London last month a respected Pakistani editor was castigated for asking about Rashid Rauf, the escaped terror suspect, and the fact that many believe he was deliberately freed by the police. Such impertinent journalists “should be roughed up”, he was alleged to have told the assembled crowds in response.

When I ask about the deposed chief justice, Iftikhar Chaudhry, who is still under house arrest, he denounces him as “the scum of the earth – a third-rate man – a corrupt man”. And the lawyers’ movement? The lawyers have vowed to continue protesting on the streets and boycotting the courts until the deposed judges are reinstated and the constitution is restored to its pre-3 November status. “With hindsight,” he replies solemnly, “it was my personal error that I allowed them to go and express their views in the street… We should have controlled them in the beginning before it got out of control.” To those more used to seeing beards and white robes at protests, the images of suited, bookish-looking lawyers fighting off police batons were a memorable spectacle.

Musharraf mentions democracy a great deal. He seems sincere. He is genuinely likeable. But it seems he just can’t help himself. You can take the general out of the army but not the army out of the general. It reminds me of the Aesop fable about the scorpion and the frog. The frog gives the scorpion, who cannot swim, a lift across the river. Halfway across, the scorpion stings him. “Why did you do that?” asks the frog. “Now we’ll both die.” “I’m a scorpion; it’s my nature.”

As I leave he presents me with a clock inscribed “from the President of the Islamic Republic of Pakistan”. It seems an inauspicious gift from a man whose time may be up. He shakes my hand. “It will be the saddest day for Pakistan if Benazir’s crooked widower is in power by Monday,” I say. As the President walks away, he looks back. “At least we part on agreement.”
 

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